Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
