I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
