I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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