it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
