Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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