Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
