Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
