any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
