Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
