Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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