Moan for me like Helen Keller
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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