As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
