We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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