Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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