Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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