So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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