A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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