I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
