Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
