she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
