She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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