xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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