dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
