Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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