Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will pee on everything he values.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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