Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize