I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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