At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
