I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
