i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
