Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
