You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize