: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
