Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
