the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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