i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
