i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
