Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
