South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
