So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
