i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
