Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
