According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
