Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
