I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize