Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
