i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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