Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
