i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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