i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
