She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
