Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize