If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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