omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
