In the future we'll all be gay
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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