I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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