dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize