remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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