I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
