So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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