Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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