just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
