Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My dick has a subreddit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
