Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
